Journalist Dennis Thompson, Jr. wrote, “Women are blessed with bodies that are capable of achieving orgasm in more ways than one.”
Sometimes it doesn’t feel like a blessing. Between the stress of getting periods, or periods that don’t arrive when they should; cancer or just maintaining general health, our bodies don’t often feel like blessings. There’s the constant scrutiny on our bodies, and we are our own worst critics. There are countless reasons why we may not be in the mood for sex, and there are answers for all of those reasons.
Personally, I’ve never thought of my body as a blessing. I grew up in a rather religious home, received sexual health classes from public schools in the South and didn’t have a sexual partner until I was almost 20 years old.
I was a sexually frustrated virgin and didn’t have the words to describe it. (Cue the quote from “Clueless.”)
This quote from Thompson touched a personal note with me because as I’m getting older, I’m actually learning about my body. I’m learning about myself.
And I’m learning how to see my body as a blessing rather than a curse.
So, how does that start? Previously, I explored the subject of learning about our bodies, and I maintain that’s the best place to start. But I think it’s also important to remember that this isn’t just about sex.
As someone who’s newly single, I’m not exactly looking to hop into bed with anyone anytime soon (and if you approach singledom differently – get it, girl), but I am interested in what makes me tick on my own.
It turns out ridiculously smutty fanfiction is a good start if you’re also into that kind of thing. It’s embarrassing, but I’m taking a leap of faith about it publicly because I think it makes a good point about this journey of self-discovery. I was ashamed to admit reading about any kind of fanfiction except to my absolute closest friends, much like how I was ashamed of my own body, but the fanfiction/fanart community is massive and equally supportive because they enjoy it, too.
So this made me start thinking, why fanfiction? The answer is kinda simple. Words. It only makes sense. Writers enjoy words, so why shouldn’t we enjoy them in bed? Why shouldn’t I enjoy them in bed?
This was something I hadn’t really considered – looking into what makes me tick and thinking about why that makes me tick without any judgement or shame.
This is my challenge to you. Find what you like, but take away the shame (as long as it’s, you know, legal and healthy). Find why you like it and jump in bed with a partner or by yourself. Even if you aren’t in the mood. Do something to get in the mood.
Then, enjoy your body.